WHY ADOLESCENTS STRUGGLE WITH SEX

A few weeks ago, when I was invited to  Ogunlade Secondary School to speak on the topic “MENTAL HEALTH & BEHAVIOURS OF THE STUDENTS”  I took time to speak about sexuality and sexual orientation; I knew that I could not possibly speak about their mental health of adolescents and offer the best solutions without talking about their primary interest – sex!  

 

Sex is the primary interest of adolescents & young adults; their major source of strength and motivation is sexual. No amount of holiness will take this away; parents and qualified educators can only help them manage it properly.  

 

Nothing takes the attention of adolescents as sexual content & conversations and while this is an opportunity for the educators to discover and make the right sex education available to them, many of them are engulfed in the blame game, demonizing kids for just expressing their curiosity about sex.  

We blame the devil for attacking young people sexually, but the devil does not torment any adolescent that has an internet-enabled phone but has no proper sex education. He knows that with a combination of internet-enabled phones, curiosity about sex, and sexually explicit materials on the internet, any adolescent will come to him without his invitation.

Still in the news, as I type, is the incident that took place between adolescent students of Christland School. I have seen a lot of people condemn the girl, while the boys are somewhat silent heroes. This says a lot about the poor sex education made available to adolescents. If the girl is wrong, why not the boys?

 

I have read articles from people mocking the girl for having the sex experience of 35 years old woman at just 13. If you are a parent, you will do yourself a great favor to find out what your children are doing in secret before you cast such a stone. You may be shocked.

 

The girl is not demon-possessed; she is just a girl whose highly sexed nature, which could have been a blessing to her and her family if properly managed became a problem due to parental negligence & ignorance. Spare her your stones and save them for her parents and guidance. She is just 13!  

Moreover, these things are not new! Many of our parents got involved in these sorts of things but they grew up and became holy without a past from which we can learn. They now see our generation as the worst and put the devil on kids that ought to be trained by them.

I remember that some of my classmates got involved in sexual activities when I was in primary 6.  That was way back when none of us, not even the teachers had phones or access to the internet.  GSM was not yet brought to Nigeria at that time, so how did these kids learn to have sex with each other at such a young age? 

When I was in secondary school, I also had a classmate, who always made videos of his sexual activities with the girls, some of which are our classmates. None of us was 18 at that time. These things did not get popular because the phones used at that time had no internet access. Only a few of us knew about it too, but it was happening. Imagine there was an internet-enabled phone for him to upload those videos.

What I am saying is that what you are reading in the news is not new things and many of you know it, except you choose to be hypocritical. That kid should be trained, not blamed. Moreover, that video had no business on the internet, but you see, the internet has no manual for use.

The kid’s life could be ruined if the video remains on the internet, and this is not because she did a new thing that other people of her age, even the younger ones have done, but because it was uploaded to the internet.

 

This is why you need to give your child the best sex education possible. Be as explicit as you can be when educating them sexually because whether you are or not, they know these things already.

 

If you also wish to afford your children the best form of sex education. You will do yourself a great favor to on the internet and search for the following books.

1. THE SEXUALLY SMART BOY (Sex education  for male adolescents)

2. THE SEXUALLY SMART BOY (Sex education  for female adolescents)

These books will help your kids understand why they should not engage in sexual activities and film themselves while doing so. If you love your kids, you will get them the books.

Written by Eneji Stephen Toluwalashe, popularly known as Soul’e Rhymez.
He is an author of more than 20 books & a proven public speaker.
He is open to an invitation to speak in church, school, or any other organization on matters concerning the mental health of adolescents & young adults.

Email: soulerhymez@gmail.com
Phone number: +2348163800077

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