SULE; THE UGLY CHECHE (The Battle to Gain Self-esteem)

Some time ago, a good friend of mine from North America sent me a message in form of joke, saying "hi, Ugly Boy” and I replied, "hello Beautiful Lady” without giving it a real thought.

Some years before now, it would have got me thinking and depressed, blaming God for making me ugly and perhaps my mom for settling for my father, whom I look exactly like.

Talking about some years ago; when I was still in high school; a remarkable event took place; a self-esteem war that changed my name to "Sule; The Ugly Cheche." It was a cloudy morning in the school premises, after a show of shame with a group of girls, my classmates, who had to fight for their beautiful friend, Beatrice, whom I became an embarrassment to just for asking her out.

I was in SSS 3 and preparing for my final exams when it happened, they raised the chorus "Sule; Ugly Cheche" and invited junior students to back them up, their song was a sharp arrow, it pierced my heart and reduced me to a toy, but I became more furious and disappointed that the guys standing could not stop them.

All of them faulted me, thus I was lonely and helpless in midst of crowd. It was me against the world.

Prior to that time, I lived with the consciousness that I was very ugly, I didn’t ask any girl out; I thought they belonged to the handsome ones, a group I thought I didn't belong. I felt really left out whenever girls says "I want a tall and handsome guy" I thought I was ugly and not as tall anyway, but when Beatrice joined the school, I had an uncontrollable feeling for her and thus she became the first girl I ever asked out.

I felt she won't like me, because of my ugly appearance, so I resorted to writing letter, judging from the fact that I was one of the best English students of our set.

After a couple of Solomonic Epistles without a single response, I decided to confront her along the road at St. John Primary School, where I usually play football with my friends, but not even my well combed hair could buy her attention, she ignored me severally as if I didn’t exist and that was the beginning of shameful end.

She had a somewhat playboy boyfriend, but because I felt he was handsome and of course taller than I was.

His appearance was always a dagger to my heart, on the other hand he never felt I existed; I envied him, but he never saw me as a threat.

He even at some point came to visit Beatrice in the school and it crushed my heart as she walked toward him by the gate.

After several of rejections by Beatrice and that mockery song from her friends, I fought serious self-esteem war.

I took mirrors to school, I turned all reflections to mirrors, I wore powder and even lip-gloss at some point just to be sure I looked good, but anytime I looked at the mirror, all I saw was "Sule, the Ugly Cheche" and had to try even harder.

I was simply suffering from Body Dimorphic Disorder, (BDD) and with that, I could never look good to myself.

After my high school education, I lived in consciousness of that event for years, I didn't ask girls out and because I was a church boy, people thought I was only being holy, but the fact was that I was suffering in silence. I often concluded in my mind that the girls would say No! So I saw no reason why I should ask them out and get the same kind of embarrassment I got in high school.

The worst danger low self-esteem pose, is that it takes you away from the image of God; you won't believe in yourself (your potentials, your passion, freewill, creativity, initiatives, giving love and accepting love) as it was in my case.

I couldn’t give love or accept love, because I believed I wasn’t perfectly created.

However, the story has changed.

Back then, they called me names like Sule-Igbira, Ode, Mumu, Ugly Cheche and Agena-sule all equivalent to imbecile or dullard, but those were what my carriage projected to people.

Now I am being called names and titles such as “Genius”, “The World’s finest Philosopher”; “the best of your kind”, “Intelligent Young man”, “Rare-gem”, “Handsome Man” and my personality is now so intimidating, that majority of guys now see me as a big threat, when it comes to getting the female folks, unlike then when the guy I was competing against did not care about my existence.

Women now ask me out, some of which I turned down politely when I do not feel the same.

I can now relate with and ask any woman I want out without any feeling of inferiority.

Remember my appearance never changed, I am still that man; no plastic surgeries, only beards, which could have made it worse, but the names and receptions did change.

The change in reception did not just happen, so what changed?

I built my self-esteem through years of Self-discovery And Development.  

I now offer you that education in the space of just two weeks in SOSADM

SOSADM is an online course, which will help you to build your self-esteem and eventually discover your purpose for life.

Registration for September/October Session is on but will end on 12^th of October, 2018.

To register, kindly pay N5, 000. 00 to this bank details: First Bank, 3056941299, Soule Stephen Toloushe.

Then Send proof of payment, as a WhatsApp message to Stephen on: +2348163800077.

You can also call the same number to confirm your payment.

N: B

1. There will be Honorary Certificate for each participant.

2. The first 40 people to register will get a copy of IDENTIFYING AND OVERCOMING THE FRIENDLY FOE, a book which helps in overcoming narcissism.

This is the lowest amount you can acquire this knowledge. Take advantage of this now.

Kindly share with others.