WHY THE DREAMERS OF TODAY NEEDS MORE PERSISTENCE

With technology advancement, bringing dreams to reality should be relatively easy now, but the reverse seems to be the case for the dreamers of today.

The cause is lack of cooperative spirit among dreamers.

Christian Nonso, a world class educationist once attributed this universal lack of cooperative spirit to faulty educational system.  According to him, collaboration, which is referred to as examination malpractice in schools, is what is needed to succeed in the real world. He was right.

              

Having had the privilege to lead teams, I have learnt that the hardest thing to achieve as a leader is to get two or more people to agree and work together in the same spirit, even remotely resembling harmony.

In my teams, regardless of how brilliant and active you are; if you are unwilling to cooperate and work in one accord with others, your days are numbered.

The reason why I do that is wrapped up in this statement made by Napoleon Hill,

“Mastermind principle never works, where perfect harmony does not prevail”.

It has been my very good fortune as a dreamer, to have learnt the power of cooperation, first as a volunteer and also as a leader of a team. So I talk from experience when I say, without harmonious cooperation with others, dreamers need longer time, before their breaks, if they will ever have it.

I began to understand the power of cooperation, when I volunteered for an NGO years ago.

There was this massive February event we usually had, only one edition had been done, before I joined, moreover, it was before the NGO took shape. We needed to repeat the feat, but there were some obstacles.

The founder travelled to UAE, and did not return until about 3 weeks before the date set for the event, when she returned, she came to my office and we planned. She was skeptical about the possibility of having the event that year, surely the time was too short to begin to write people for sponsorship, but I insisted we would have it, she believed me, and we went on with the plans, sending out letters and following up.

Another member joined later to make us three, but she was not forthcoming as expected. However, the founder and I kept moving on and communicating our plans and fears. To cut the story short, the event was successful.

Perhaps the success of the event might be attributed to other factors, but I attributed it to the meeting, because if we have agreed in the meeting, not to have it, nothing of a sort would have happened.

Napoleon Hill has correctly stated this universal truth in these lines

“No two minds ever come together without, hereby, creating a third, invisible, intangible force, which may be likened to the third mind”.

The third invisible mind is actually more powerful, but it does not come until harmony prevails between two or more minds, working together to achieve a common goal in the spirit of absolute faith.

Having Omosola Osobajo, who is now based in the UK, in my team proved the above statement to be nothing, but the truth. Perhaps his absence now gives me the clue to how important I was to the organization, for which I volunteered. To tell how important Sola is; because of his absence, I have been forced to withdraw all our live events at SRAF this year, 2018. 

One may ask why that was needed. Sola is just a person and replaceable. It is true, but it is also true that, not many people possess what Sola have: loyalty of the highest order and cooperative spirit, which is unmatched among men which I have seen.

As a testimony to the fact that cooperation among two or more people, working in the spirit of harmony will speed up success, it was the time I worked with Sola that we had two major live events: BATTLE OF WORDS POETRY SLAM & SRAF AWARDS – 2017, both of which has was a brain behind and did most of the planning.

Note that SRAF has been in existence two years before his addition and we did not achieve those feats.

Having been leading SRAF, which is now a capacity building company, for the past three years, I have been opportune to lead men and women, young and old, but none of them or all of them combined, has been able to supply me the much needed support and loyalty as Sola did. He was always ready to do anything I gave him to do; yet, he will do more than required of him.

He never questioned my authority as the leader of the group. If I make mistakes, he calls me secretly and tells me the implication of such mistakes to the organization. That’s what intelligent followers do.

I guess he was intelligent enough to know that public criticism of his team leader may mean disloyalty and antagonism.

His absence and its implications forced me to go into the study of why most people do not collaborate with others, to achieve a common goal, if at all, from the scratch. We have talked about faulty educational system, which teaches people to compete instead of collaborate, lack of vision and insight is another cause, but while all of these maybeworked on, there is one cause which encapsulate all of them, it is called NARCISSISM.

Do not take it to mean that narcissists do not support others at all, but the long term support and loyalty needed to fast-track one’s attainment of a definite goal might never be offered by narcissists. And because majority of people suffer from narcissism and might not accept they do, dreamers of today requires more efforts and persistence for the attainment of their goals, than they will need when they get people’s supports. Moreover, this condition contributes to making them narcissists too.

Some narcissists come like angels, promising to support you, and some do so for some time, but they only come to idealize you, based on the success they thought you have achieved. They don’t believe in starting from the scratch. They only go around looking for whom to idealize; when they see your organization can’t offer them a self-esteem boost, they leave.

I have met many, who call themselves Chronic Volunteers, but the name should be, Chronic Idealists instead.

Their loyalty last as long as idealizing you continues to boost their self-esteem.

They leave for the most flimsy excuse, once they realize the reality is not as big as painted. They only want to be a part of what is working fine already, but never taking the troubles to facilitate such system when no one believes.

It seems nobody believes anyone from the scratch any longer.

This makes it tough for dreamers, who must push and continue to push until they can get to that level, where people can idealize them.

Many give up before getting to this point, because they did not get needed cooperation needed to move on.

Looking at this phenomenon, it is only important that one learn about Narcissism, the causes and how to overcome it.

If you aspire to be leader in any calling, it might interest you more, to read a book on this personality disorder. And if I may suggest a book for you to read, I’d suggest “How We Became Narcissists” by Soul’e Rhymez. It contains everything you need to know about this condition.

To purchase your own copy this book, kindly follow the procedure below (For Nigerians Only):

1. Pay #1000 to this Account details: First Bank, 3056941299, Soule Stephen Toloushe.

2. Send proof of payment to soulerhymez@gmail.com or as WhatsApp message to: +2348163800077, alongside your email address. You will get your own copy within 24 hours of payment confirmation.

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