WHY YOU SHOULD NOT GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP UNTIL YOU HAVE WHAT TO GIVE
many of us
loves to be in relationship, but not too many of us know that before we go into
a relationship, we must have what to give, not just what to give, or what we think
our partner needs, but exactly what they want and ask for. I did not learn this
until very recently.
A few days
ago, I was talking with a friend of mine, who told me she started a
relationship, not up to a month ago. I asked her if she would have agreed we
date, if I have asked her out and she said yes, then I wondered why she agreed
to the other guy, despite she liked me.
The answer
was simple, and she provided it while I was still thinking. She does not want
money or gold, she does not even want to date a god that Soul’e Rhymez is, and
she was interested in that thing which I don’t always give to women: “time
& care”. By the time she mentioned it, it occurred to me that even if I had
competed with the guy for her, he will still win her over me, regardless of how
much she loves me – love is not enough.
It occurred to
me that just about every woman I have been with, whether they come for me or otherwise,
complained and left for about just the same reason: lack of time and care for
them.
Victoria was
not an exception; the sexy North American was frustrated by my lack of care.
One day she
told me “Soul’e, one of your friends chatted with me for more than one hour today,
we have been together for the past two years, and you have never done that”.
That spelt
the beginning of the end for us. My Princess had similar complains.
I was always
busy. She begged for my time, but Soul’e Rhymez was always busy. These women
did not need money from me; they are willing to give theirs, only if I had
their time. Time and care was all they needed from their man.
An incidence
happened last year, a lady close by, came for me, but as usual, I never had her
time, every time she came around, I was always writing and wouldn’t give her
audience till she leaves. Soon she found a guy close b; who could create time
for her. They got so deep and did things I would have loved to, if only I had
her time, but by then, her feeling for me was gone. It was my fault.
The guy paid
the price I never paid or was willing to. All that mattered to me was my work
as a writer. I was always writing, I don’t even chat or call and might not
return her calls, not because I did not want to, but other things “writing”,
took over and I forgot there was a lady and many others, whose feelings I must
not take for granted. I felt bad she left, but it was my fault.
I had to let
my last relationship go, ignorantly believing my woman did not love me enough,
although I could be right, but that was because I was only in love with myself.
I thought of everything I expected of her, without thinking she had
expectations too, not fulfilling these expectations means, even though it was
obvious she loved me, she was indecisive, not to put herself in bondage.
I was very
dictatorial and never having time – in fact, I complained she calls too much. She
did not leave, I sent her away, but it now occurred to me I was the problem,
not her.
I went into the
relationship, a needy fool – I was only focused on what my woman could offer m.
It hasn’t occurred to me yet, that in a relationship, I must be willing to give
what my partner wants, as much as I expect her to give what I want.
Majority of
us guys see women who ask for money or go for guys with money as materialistic,
but that’s not true. Not in all occasions.
A lady that
comes from a financial handicap home needs a partner who will aid her with
money – asking for money, or going after a guy with money does not mean she is
a slut or not a wife material.
The truth is
that we all go into relationships for what we want, not necessarily for what we
can give.
Many of the
women that came for me did so, because they fancy intelligent guys more than
those with money – I was always their favorite, money or no money. Many of them
even offered me money, but the truth is, if my intelligence does not benefit
them the way they want it, they will leave – they always did. They are not wrong
to leave, I was.
There are
many who do not care about intelligence as much as money; that’s what they want.
If it is not there, the attraction to date won’t come, you will only be placed
on friend zone, regardless of how you try. It is simple, you do not have what they want,
and they are right. You too would not
have gone after them, if they don’t seem to have what you want.
People go
into relationships for different wants: money, time, peace of mind, care,
prestige, fame, career goals and sex. Getting what they in relationship bring marriage
into consideration. No relationship leads to marriage without a constant supply
of what one wants from it, or a clear hope that it will come.
Don’t expect
anyone to expect to date you without expecting something from you. It is only
smart for you to know what your partner wants and if you can offer them.
It is never
wrong to go into relationship for what you want. The world will not always give
you what you want, and you can’t hold them responsible for it. But you can hold
your partner responsible for what you want, if you give what he/she wants.
That is the
essence of being together as lovers, married or not.
There is a
need to understand that as much as you expect your partner to give you what you
want in a relationship, he/she expect the same from you too.
In considering
a relationship, it is only smart to choose someone who wants what you have to
offer and values them more, and also has and willing to offer, that which you
want. That’s what relationship is about.
If you are
not willing and ready to know and offer your partner what he/she wants in a
relationship, then you are not ready for one. – Soul’e Rhymez
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