WHY MANY PEOPLE REMAIN UNCHANGED AND NEVER IMPROVE

There is one major reason why a lot people remain unchanged and perhaps never improve on anything they do, despite they are well read and are aware of the things that keeps them in bondage. As simple as it is, it is inability to accept one’s fault as fault, face the guilt, work on it and move on.

Almost all men prefer to overcome their faults without having them pointed out to them. They create alibis and excuses for them, thinking they can work on them without anyone pointing them out.

My experience and researches show that almost everyone that I have met suffers from this affliction; the root is fear of criticism. If I go by the statistic of people who hate to have their faults pointed out to them, then I will be right to say, fear of criticism is a universal fear, because it is this fear that makes it hard for people to accept their faults, especially to people. “If the hurtful facts about you appear to you as insults, it is evidence that you are walking on the path of a fool.” This statement cannot be misconstrued, but if it be followed, it means almost every man that I have met has walked on the path of a fool and many are still doing so.

People who have been close to me will have one thing to say in common; that I face them with their faults without sugarcoating them. Not many people can take this. I thought this is only common with men, but my relationship with women over the years has shown it is common with the latter more.

My habit of pointing out people’s faults to their faces has earned me a reputation of being obstinate and cold blooded; it has also made a lot of people kept their distance. I am often misunderstood.

A female friend of mine had called a night ago to call my attention to a social error I made when we were out together the previous days, she wouldn’t even allow me to say a thing and she had kept it for that long to avoid a fight back from me even though she was hurt. This shows I too hated to be faced with my faults, but that was before I discovered a universal truth that “any weakness I defend, I can never overcome”. I was only mad at myself I made such mistake, I needed to explain it, face it and overcome it, but she was not interested, because overtime I have proven to her that I will never accept I am wrong and she was not ready for fight back.

Days before then, I faced a lady with her weaknesses too and instead of accepting them and working on them, she went on the altar when she was to preach and read the message to the whole church. My first impulse of thought when I was told about it was that she feared criticism; she hates to be faced with her faults and wouldn’t even accept she has them. She talked about forgiveness, because she believed it was an aim to insult her. Hurtful fact about her appeared to her as insult and offence which she had to forgive; she couldn’t take it, despite almost everyone is aware of it.

There is also this lady with whom I have a supposed close relationship. Anytime I face her with her faults; she keeps denying them, trying all efforts to exonerate herself from them, without having to accept she has them. This leads us to disagreeing every day. As a psychologist, analysis of all her dispositions show she has these faults, but she wouldn’t’ accept she has them, she makes me believe I was only seeing what I wanted to see, but was unaware her dispositions were creating what I was seeing.

Lately I had seen a guy and a girl doing some unethical things, and despite I saw them and all facts I stated suggested I was sure of what I saw, both of them will not agree in their right minds that they did what I saw them doing, when I pressed them hard, they agreed out of duress, but when they return to their senses, they still tried hard to make me believe I didn’t see what I saw, they resulted to lies upon lies, just to make me believe otherwise, but my sight won’t lie. Even when I decided to let the issue out of my mind and make peace, they still will not accept they are wrong or apologize. Though they might be sorry in their minds, they can’t say it out, because it will hurt them more to face their guilt.

Being true to one’s known self is an essential quality which majority of people do not have and it is responsible for the reason why majority of people remain unchanged, never improving and might never become exceptional.

Their predicament is wrapped up in one simple fact stated by Jesus “He that is whole needs no physician”. Since they already believe they don’t have such weaknesses, there will be no need to seek help.

To those who will never accept their weaknesses as weaknesses, I once wrote:

 “There are no secrets; it is just difference in revealing time. Ignorant of this fact, majority of people try hard to conceal their faults as secrets. This can be the worst mistake ever, because in a bid to keep them all secret, they won’t overcome them, their dispositions also reveals the truth and present them as pretenders & wicked people.

No quality can supplant being true to oneself, but majority of people can’t tap into this essential quality due to their unwillingness to accept their faults and face the guilt.

The foregoing statement is worth reading over and over again.

Analyze yourself courageously and you might find out the reason why you can’t be true to yourself is because you can’t accept your faults as faults to people, even though you know they are there. When it appears these weaknesses are no longer secrets, you try to paint them as strong points, giving all good excuses why you still have them, but with such attitude, weaknesses are never going to be surmounted. Regardless of what name you call a weakness or how well you try to paint it, it is still a weakness and will continue to stand in your way.

Some people will say, “I am just being myself, we can’t all be the same”, that’s in a way to avoid change, which will force them to leave their comfort zones and do away from those weaknesses that they have long presented as uniqueness.

It will hurt you in the end to know that the weaknesses which you always try to protect and present as your uniqueness are the enemies stopping you from achieving your goals and great successes and until you call them what they are and do away from them, they will always stand in your way.

You can’t be yourself without first being true to yourself and you can’t be true to yourself without knowing yourself. Knowing yourself starts with accepting your weaknesses as weaknesses and making sincere efforts to work on them and become the best version of yourself.

Change is constant, if it is variable with you, then you can be sure you are walking on the path of a fool.

Written by Soul’e Rhymez

For more information, call Stephen on: +2348163800077 or send a mail to soulerhymez@gmail.com

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