WHY A LOT OF PEOPLE HATE ME

Life without love cannot be more difficult, but if you need someone to tell this difficult tale, I am in the best position. One of my uncles once confessed, “Tolu I hate you so much” I must commend his sincerity, because he’s one of the few persons who say what they feel. I knew it, but he was not the only one. My father didn’t love me too; he once doubted if he gave birth to me.

 

All my life, I have received more hate than love, but I have chosen to focus on the love, give it more and forget the hate. I have no problem loving people, as human being, I am tempted to hate some people for what they do to me, but I just couldn’t, probably because of my understanding of how it works and why I seldom feel that way.

 

Thanks to my Granny, she gave the love needed for me to grow up, she was my goddess; I am her last born. She love me so more, I believe God plan it that way, now I understand it is for a reason.

Growing up, I was not a kid anyone wants to love. I didn’t walk when normal kids walk, I was the ugliest of the kids around and the hatred people have for my father was transferred to me, because I am physically a copy of him.

 

When I started schooling, some love started coming. I was brilliant, I was the teachers’ favorite, but it wouldn’t last long.

When I got to secondary school, everything changed, for a reason I didn’t know, my IQ dropped. I was simply not good for anything, I was coming from a poor home, I always owed  school fees and had no good look to attract people; this earned me a lot of hate. My days in the high school are forgettable. There are only a few, but untraceable good memories. I was the most hated guy in my school.

 

When I crossed over to Lagos, thanks to my Granny who God used for me, I was unwelcomed too, no one wanted me to stay with them, I was simply suffering from the perceived sins of my father, everyone felt I will turn up like him, since I look exactly like him.  Having my IQ dropped and failing WAEC means there was nothing good about me, so the hatred was much, no one seemed to believe in me.  I later lived with my Uncle, who despite confessed to hate me, God used him to house me for more than 4 years, turbulent years though, but I survived.

 

The rejection from every angle, instead of making me weak, built me to a strong person!

Most of my experiences were turned into writing and I regained my IQ.

It looked as if it was late, one of my uncles who seemed to be the only one interested in my education gave up already and what a blessing he did; I found a new meaning of education and would no longer follow his path.

This continues to make me a visionless person to him and many others, but I do not have to make sense to them.

 

Instead of wallowing in self-pity like I did in my high school days, I deduced if I am always the odd number, then I am not unfortunate, it only means there is something unique about me, so I got to work to find it out. Truly I was born unique, everything that happened to me were planned to build me up and what a blessing I didn’t give up. Life without love is worse than you thought, but it only made me stronger.

 

However, a lot of people didn’t understand where I was coming from; they hate me more for things I say about myself than for things I say about people. For instance, my poems such as “I am my own Prophet”, “From Gory to Glory” and so on only got me more enemies. They feel I am too arrogant and put myself above everyone else, but I could not make them see clearer, they just won’t see.

 

Regardless of how humble I try to be, people still feel I am too pompous and maybe crazy, this earns me a lot of hatred, because I live around people who feel threatened and envy what I say about myself. Already, tagging myself the world’s finest thinker seems to put me ahead of everyone, perhaps making them feel they know nothing, but that’s because they lack this understanding: what I call myself are not titles, they are facts which I discovered about me in the moments of my troubles.

 

These facts now earn me more hatred than ever before!

Someone was telling me how a lady felt like slapping me for calling myself a god in one of my articles, perhaps that’s how a lot of people feel. Getting people to work with me now seem hard, most of them are of the popular of opinion that I am arrogant and even when they found out otherwise they could not deviate from those opinions. I am not responsible for their ignorance.

 

I think this is more reason why no Lady has publicly accepted to love me, though I have a few secret acceptances, most of whom left before it turned to anything serious. They find it hard to love a guy that everyone seem to hate and complains about; they don’t want to stand alone with the man they perhaps love. They are just not exceptional and it sometimes leaves me worrying. Most of these ladies love me, but it is hard to stand alone, because loving a man a lot of people don’t like is like setting themselves up for enmity with people. They just can’t stand it.

 

I realize people hate me because I am exceptional and I say it, but this is a known fact, perhaps they feel I shouldn’t talk about it, but I am my own prophet, I am to tell what becomes of me. That poem was not just a poem or self-appraisal; it was a revelation of what I found out about me.

I know too well that I will have to endure more hatred, because stories of persons like me have never been different, however, a time will come, when those who are for me will be more than those against me and those that reject me will become eternal fools. If this gets you angry then you need to learn more.

 

It is true that I grew up an arrogant boy, it was a trait I inherited from my father and on the road to self-discovery, it is one of the first things I consciously worked on and overcame. What makes me look arrogant now is, because I have an understanding of who I am and I project it. It is very difficult to stand against everyone, without anyone in your support, I have always been like that, but will end like that.

 

I just have to be prepared for more hatred and enmity, because there will always be people who will have issues with what I call myself, just like they had issues with Jesus Christ when he said he is the son of God. The hatred from that fact and similar affirmations led to his death on the cross, but today, whosoever is against Jesus is against life and eternity. Even the religion created out of his person; Christianity is a great force. This point to the fact that he was not arrogant, he only understood himself more than any other person did and would not stop saying it, despite people felt he was arrogant.

 

Jesus didn’t stop, so I won’t stop!

I will continue in my mission, it is for me to believe and for you to doubt, but your doubt will not stop me. I know who I am, I am not what you call m;, I am who God says I am. I will forfeit your bragging rights like Jesus did, you will hate me more for it, but I will grow through your hatred until you are forced to love me and if you don’t, you would have succeeded in hating life.

If this gets you mad, then you need to learn more!

 

I am Soul’e Rhymez