FIRST LOVE FEVER (HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX-LOVER)


Except charm is involved or other diabolical means, the belief that there is something spiritual about being drawn back to someone’s first lover is a grand illusion.
However, quite a lot of people find it hard to overcome the temptation of returning to their first love, even when they are married. This they blamed on some uncontrollable spiritual attraction.

This illusion was made famous by the moralists, mostly religious, in a bid to have people avoid premarital sex.
However, their approach has done more harm than good. It has seen many people become slaves to their first love; most of them even commit adultery, which is even a worse offense to the moralists, based on the tenets of their various religions.


The idiotic thing about it is that people just believe what is passed down to them as long as they were based on their religions and proclaimed by their religion leaders, who are seen as unquestionable to them.
Religion is one major reason why this illusion has lasted up till now and in a bid to make people come close to God, the moralists have succeeded in pushing them away from him.

Sometime ago, I was reading an article said to have been written by one Pastor Enoch Adeboye. The writer made losing virginity look like the worst sin.
He went ahead to state that there is a spiritual connection between a lady and whosoever she sleeps with, as for the virgins, he stated that a spiritual covenant is usually made during the encounter, which is sealed with the blood that came out of the woman’s private part as a result of broken hymen and will take a special deliverance to break the bond.

This message was circulated among religious folks, but that message, regardless of who the writer was, didn’t say the mind of God. It must have been created by a moralist, who by all means wanted to preserve morality in the society.
The message only creates fear in people, and I tell you the truth, it is one of the reasons why people keep going back to their first love.

Such message as the above mentioned make some folks who are yet to deflower be very careful about who they lose their virginity to, which is good and if it gets to the hands of those that are already deflowered, it makes them believe they must stick to the guy that deflowered them, since there was a spiritual covenant between them and they are afraid to create another one.
This makes them think about them always; they can’t help but be attracted to them again.

According to Soul’e Rhymez in his book, THE IMAGE OF GOD, attention/attraction is the first attribute of love, this means once you pay attention to the thoughts of your first love as a result of the illusion that you are spiritually connected, the attraction comes in and you will feel like going back to them. It is nothing spiritual, it is rather psychological and it does not matter if you had sexual intercourse or not.

The genesis of this fear, which is the most handful tool of the moralists to make people keep coming to them, not necessarily God is derived from the Bible, it is a saying by King Solomon, the then world’s wisest man that, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”. With that, they have been able to create fear in people in order for them not to do certain things, but I tell you the truth, that statement is no longer valid.
The fear of the Lord is no longer the beginning of wisdom, but love of the Lord.
You will agree with me that in perfect love there is no fear, so if you have to love God, which according to Jesus is the greatest command, where is the fear coming from?

Another reason for “First Love Fever” is inability to reverse decisions when situations change.
Most people have made a vow within them that whosoever deflowers them or they deflower is the person they will get married to and in the long run, they fell in what they call love and lost their virginity, but in other to keep their vow, they want their partner at all cost.
This could also be traced to the activities of the moralists and their quest to maintain moral uprightness as prescribed by their religion.

I will like to make it clear that if you lose your virginity intentionally before you marry, you will only be lucky to have less than only two sex partners before you finally marry, not everyone is this lucky so the best is to stay a virgin until virgin if you know the person that deflower you is the person you want to get married to, otherwise, you will only be deceiving yourself and end up a victim of your own decision.

The quest to always prove a point to people, especially ex-lovers and the belief that no one can love them again the way they did is another reason for “First Love Fever”.
It could also be as a result of lust for their money, cares and sexual prowess, which they haven’t seen anyone match or believe nobody, can match.
The later is common and it is also a battle to be won in the mind, not spiritual.
Inability to let go the past and move on is a major problem, thus people become slaves to the thoughts of their First Love or ex-Lover, whom they think is better and should still be a part of their lives.

All the above mentioned causes of First Love Fever, except the use of charm and other diabolical means are psychological and not spiritual as the long standing illusion states.
All you need to do is to analyze your feeling; the causes from the above mentioned and find a way out.

To overcome First Love Fever, ask yourself the following questions and answer them correctly:
Why am I feeling this way?
Which vow/promise did I make to myself and need to break?
Is my belief wrong?
What do I really want?
Why do I want it?
Is my reason genuine?
What are the advantages and consequences of getting them?
Can I live with the results?

This write-up was first held as a discussion on SRAF Group.

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