BETWEEN THE TEACHER AND THE LEARNER WHO IS SUPERIOR?
Not long ago, I went for a discussion and when it was over, I went to
thank the convener.
In the course of our chat, she did something that made me feel
uncomfortable, here is it: she said I have low self-esteem and encouraged me to
work on it. This came after I had said in the course of the discussion that I
had worked on my self-esteem, a thing I was sure of. I thank her and left.
By her advice, she made it feel I was still suffering from low
self-esteem, I was uncomfortable she will continue to see me in that light,
but, wisdom told me not to defend it. When I was about to leave, I engaged in a
chat with the lady who invited me and in the course of it, I said to her “it
does not matter who teach, what matters is what has been learnt.” Perhaps I
said that without understanding it.
When I left the venue, wisdom began to teach me the meaning of that
statement.
He told me it was the reason why he asked me to say thank you, instead
of defending, when the woman told me to work on what I had already worked on,
hereby making it look as if she taught me how to do that.
I felt uncomfortable; because it appeared she was trying to get the
credit for changing me.
Such attitude of not letting people the credits for things we know and
who we are, wisdom told me, is the reason why a lot of people never get ahead
in life.
“The teacher is not necessarily superior to learner. In fact, reverse is
the truth, in most cases”, he concluded.
This reminded me of majority of my past relationships, in which I have
admitted that my women changed me, even to them, but they never admitted the
same. For instance, when I finished my latest book, HOW WE BECAME NARCISSISTS,
I gave it to my ex-girlfriend, a graduate of psychology, to review, knowing she
suffered from the condition it described: narcissism. However, my intention was
for her to learn from it.
As expected, she came back with self-defense; she talked about symptoms
overlap and tried to convince me with needless terminologies, all in an effort
to avoid accepting I taught her thing she ought to have known.
She always did. In fact, that sort of attitude was what led to our
breakup.
She ignorantly believed, just like a lot of people do, that the teacher
is superior to the learner. This universal ignorance is what prevents a lot of
people from learning the most valuable lessons, which would have changed their
lives, especially, when they come from people against whom they have so much to
prove.
A lot of people avoid buying books by authors they seem close to, and
also do not like being advised by them, because they do not want to give others
the credit of changing them. In fact, to prove that your advice is invalid,
most people continue to do things you advised them against.
The result is mediocrity, because the most important lessons in life do
not usually come from the most recognized teachers, who are considered
qualified to teach. Knowledge is multidirectional.
N: B
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