SHININING NUGGETS: Finding your edge

WOMEN WRITE NETWORK

 is an online young female writer's community that concerns itself with the grooming of young female writers on how to harness their writing skills as well are shed educative light on the entirety of being the female gender. WWN put up online pep talks to encourage and teach on several helpful life changing topics. This happens once or twice a week on it's Whatsapp platform.

This week's guest is Ebidenyefa Tarila Nikade. She is a wife, mother, Educationist, Parenting/Teen/Sex Education  counsellor, broadcast Journalist and public speaker believes in who creating platforms for young people to express themselves. Ebidenyefa who authored  ‘These Words Are Not Mine’ a collection of poems majorly themed around womanhood, is passionate about women and children, especially the sexually abused; hence her writings are centred on such themes.  She runs an anti-rape campaign #boysdontrape; #girlsarediamonds ' and Rape Victim Assistance ; as part of activities to curb the rape menace.  Ebidenyefa holds a B.ed and M.A. from the then Rivers State College of Education and University of Port Harcourt respectively.

She is the presenter of an award winning Radio Programme' Creative Xpressions on Gloryfm 97.1. She is a staff of Bayelsa Senior Secondary Board, presently working with Ekpetiama Comprehensive High School Tombia, Yenagoa, and is also the Organizer of ‘Spelling Bee Bayelsa’ targeted at improving the vocabulary of children and encouraging the spirit of sportsmanship. She is a member of Yenagoa Book Club. She presently lives in Yenagoa, Bayelsa state, with her husband and daughter. Vulnerable Chronicles is her debut novel. She spoke on the topic SHINING NUGGETS: Finding your edge. Below is the pep talk session.

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Ebi Nikade: Good afternoon everyone. Thanks for having me. I shall have a brief pep-talk with us, and i will be talking about SHINING NUGGETS: Finding your edge.

Lady 1: You are welcome...

Lady 2: Welcome Ma'am, we are honored to have you as our guest today.

Lady 3: Glad to have you on this platform  Madam Ebi.

Ebi Nikade: To open this pep-talk, i'd like to share this very interesting story with you all. A bull lounged beside a tree which had an eagle on one of the branches. Just beside was a stray hen which admired and craved the the Eagle's position on the tree top. So the hen said to the eagle "I'd love to join you up there...can I come?"

The eagle responded with a very affirmative nod, beckoning on the hen to join. But the hen, knowing very well it's height challenge,  wondered how it would fly so high. While he she was contemplating on that, the bull on the other end watching offered a helping hand. It said to the hen, "My feaces is an energizer... If you eat it, it would take you high up to the eagle and maybe beyond."

The excited hen tasted of the feaces like an energy boosting infusion, and then she began her flight upward, towards the eagle.

But somewhere in the woods, a hunter caught sight of a game and shot it it down. Could you guess the hunter's game?

Lady 1🏾: The hen

Ebi Nikade: Yes. Correct. The hen was gunned down for dinner while the eagle flapped it's wings and flew even higher afar off. The moral of the story is simple; stay in your place of glory.

Lady 4: This is food for thought...

Lady 1: Wow!

Ebi Nikade: The Eagle's position is high up in the sky, and the hen's is just a few metres off ground level. Your edge is your place of glory!!!

Your edge is what makes you stand out.

Lady 1: 👍🏼

Ebi Nikade: It is the distinguishing factor amongst individuals. You must have heard that no two individuals are the same not even identical twins. If everybody sings...what makes your singing different from the other person's...if everybody writes what makes yours different from the others...what makes Frank Edward  different from other gospel artists?

Take a look at your fingers. Are they all equal? No, but they function together to set the hand in motion. Our roles in life ought to be complimentary not competitive. If there's any reason to compete, it should be within you. compete with yourself to bring out the best in you...your edge.

There is something special about you, something very special that distinguishes you from others. it is your unique 'selling point'. We all have it but often berate and undermine our abilities because we are busy wanting to be like C. Or D Or E;  just like the hen who wanted to be like the eagle. Your uniqueness is your EDGE. What make Sinach different? what makes Chimamanda's writing different from others?

Lady 1:👍🏼

Ebi Nikade: Remember, you are the distinguishing factor. When your name comes up, what comes to mind? What are your strengths and weaknesses? How best can you function maximally?

Neofloetry: Awesome...

Ebi Nikade: I wasn't always a public speaker. Noise making and being loud was one of very big strengths in secondary school. But back in college, i was antisocial. Today I can talk anywhere. I am not where I wish to be but I am definitely not where I used to be. I used to have a group of friends who didn't see good in me because I was kind of nerdy...Book, book, speak plenty English, fortunate to be married to a man who could afford me a car...zero dress sense...drive them round town like an olofofo. My friends had an edge over me then...they were older, wide eyed fashionistas and Dubai travelling ladies.

But I knew deep down there was something special that I wasn't confident enough to release. So one day, a youth event was announced in church and I saw talkshow as one of the features. I braced myself up and walked to the youth leader and told him I wanted to anchor that segment. He was surprised though. They asked me to suggest topics...I did and they picked one.

Lady 1🏾: 📝

Ebi Nikade: I went home and prepared very well! That evening they saw an Ebidenyefa they had never seen before. The compliments increased the following day. I became an Mc for most events in church. People who didn't know began to long to greet me and want to know me. My friends where still in their fashionistas world, but I had moved on. I now officially had an edge over them; the microphone and my God blessed head.

Lady 5:  I love that.

Ebi Nikade: That began to open doorways for me. Then I ventured into writing, and when my books were announced in church, i had stepped a millions mountains higher than my fashion conscious friends, because I was passionate about talking.

Neofloetry: Wow! 📝

Ebi Nikade: Talking or should I say proving my worth. I had to find that thing that would distinguish me from the lot. If you want to shine and a force to be reckoned with, you must find your unique selling point!!! How do you find your edge?

1. You must have a vision for your life. My mentor says vision is what you see that others can't see. It is the future that puts you on your toes today. Your vision would compel you to set goals. Now the good thing with having a vision is that it directs your path. You are not are not just everywhere. Every time and everyday. It streamlines your activities and behavioural pattern, setting the stage for your edge. It also helps to identify opportunities where you can display your potential.

2. Passion. This is derived from a Greek word 'Patier', which means to suffer. What can you or willing to suffer for?

Lady 4: Hmmm

Ebi Nikade: What can you do with the least effort? I mean, something that doesn't bore you. For example, your comfort zone. The one that energizes and not drains you.

3. Create your own style. Add an extra to the ordinary. Even if you have to emulate someone else, always tweak it to suit your vision. Brand yourself, and let it be peculiar.

Neofloetry: 🤔📝

Ebi Nikade: 4. Know your weaknesses. What skills you still need to develop. You can't do everything!!! We all have our weaknesses. Focus on your strengths.

5. Invest in yourself. Read books. Attend trainings, rehearse, practice...

Lady 2: 😀😀

Lady 3: 👍

Ebi Nikade: Acquaint yourself with the 21st century of what you do. Poetry in the 90s is not the same as now. Personal development is key is key to finding your edge! This is all I have for now. My time is up.

Sissy: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏

Ebi Nikade: Be unique. Be you. Be distinguished!!!

Sissy: Thanks ma,

Lady 1🏾: Wow! Can we take questions now? Thanks Ma'am

Lady 3: 👊❤👏

Ebi Nikade: You are welcome. Thanks for honouring me everyone.

Lady 3: I am highly motivated.

Lady 1: OK. Ladies. Your questions, so that our guest can go have lunch😃

Ngozi F. Jude: Thanks ma. My dream is to have a forum where I can talk to people and I will have to start because you have just pulled out the giant that has refuse to come out in me.

Ebi Nikade: Great. Go on...

Ngozi F. Jude: We have lot of people that have given up hope around my area, for years  and I have been saying I will start but I will have to start my talk sessions. This is a motivator. Thanks once again.

Ebi Nikade: Ok, Blessing. Draw up a plan and start small. Grow your skill and take the stage. Any more?

Neofloetry: Ma'am how does one find their edge when they have multiple gifts or talents. What's the discerning factor to keeping up, and avoiding unnecessary competition?

Ebi Nikade: Ok. About multi- talented people... adopt the principle of scaffolding. By this, I mean; do all that you can with all the talents at your disposal. Take them step by step, and one would begin to give way for the other till you'd eventually find the one that gives you an edge over others

Neofloetry: Okay. Thanks...

Blessing Eli: Warm hug and thank you to our guest, you made my day. I have just one Question...

Ebi Nikade: Ok. Blessing

Blessing Eli: You mentioned Passion as one of the keys or drive for distinguishing ourselves. My question is?  Between Passion and self-determination, which should come first as driving force?

Ebi Nikade: Without passion self determination is zero. Your passion drives your determination to achieve. If you are self determined without that burning desire, you may not be so zealous and result oriented. Hope I have answered your question Neo and Blessing. I hope it helps.

Blessing Eli: Thanks

Neofloetry🏾: Yes. Thanks a lot.

Lady 1🏾: You have poured into us some home truth. Thanks for honoring this invitation. God bless you.

Ebi Nikade: You are welcome.

Lady 1: Ok. Ladies. This is where we draw the curtain of today's pep talk. Ma'am Ebi shall take her leave now.

Lady 5: Am grateful for your time and wisdom imparted lecture, God bless.

Lady 1: Thanks ladies, till we meet again next week.

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To be a part of WWN pep-talk sessions holding twice a week, contact these numbers:

+2348064528857

+27745880325

+2348098966135

+2348034241052

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